A HELPING HAND FOR WOMEN REACHING FOR THE STARS

So many of our young babes love to dance and we watch them earnestly as they reach for the stars.

We wanted to congratulate one of Newcastle’s young dancing stars. Newcastle’s very own Lilliana Eneliko has accepted a traineeship by the coveted Alonzo King LINES Ballet, one of the USA’s most prestigious dance companies.

With productions that are globally renowned for transcending traditional ballet with cross-genre collaborations, Lilliana shall soon be training with the San Francisco based company - but it’s the local Newcastle community that will accelerate Lilliana’s rise to artistic stardom.

CVETA Property, Newcastle’s pre-eminent boutique real estate brand, is announcing a sponsorship of Lilliana to make her their emerging Brand Ambassador and help her on her way to LINES. Now they’re calling on the art-loving community of Newcastle to join their Go Fund Me and put Lilliana on the world stage.

Lilliana has previously spent the last Six (6) years at Newcastle’s National College of Dance, starring in productions such as the Imperial Russian Ballet’s performance of the Nutcracker, 2022’s Sydney International Ballet Gala, and the National College of Dance productions of Nostalgia and Resurgence amongst many more.

Off the back of these accolades, Lilliana decided that she wanted to pursue dancing at the highest level and after auditions was offered many positions across the world. However, she had chosen the converted Alonzo King LINES ballet company above all.

Lilliana and her parents are overjoyed by all the love and support from CVETA Property and Newcastle’s arts community and can’t wait for her rise to continue.

When CVETA Property founder Cveta Kolarovski first met Lilliana, she knew right away that Lilliana’s talent would take her to extraordinary places, and that she would be the perfect Ambassador to represent the brand.

For many years CVETA Property has been avid champions of empowering female entrepreneurs and sportswomen, including Broadmeadow Magic Women’s Soccer Club. Championing women towards reaching for the stars in our community.

The Newcastle community is encouraged to show their support for Lilliana by contributing to the costs of LINES tutorship.

PLANT YOUR OWN PLANTER BOX FOR SPRING, AN EASY GUIDE

With the prices of fruit and veggies these days and the dubious stories about food tampering we’ve put together an easy guide to planting your own planter box.

When we say “raised garden bed” or simply “raised bed,” we’re referring to a freestanding box or frame—traditionally with no bottom or top—that sits aboveground in a sunny spot filled with good-quality soil. Raised beds are usually open on the bottom so the plant roots can access soil nutrients below ground level.

Of course, a raised bed can be even simpler than that: you could build a raised bed without a frame, mound the soil 6 to 8 inches high, and flatten the top. This requires no additional materials (beyond soil).

Consider what you may grow. The depth of the soil itself is very important and depends on how much soil depth the crop needs belowground. For example:

• Deep-rooted crops such as carrots, parsnips, potatoes, tomatoes, and squash need a minimum soil depth of 12 to 18 inches. Without loose soil to this depth, the roots will not be able to access nutrients.

• Shallow-rooted crops (like lettuce, greens, and onions) need a minimum soil depth of 6 inches.

To place it safe, you could just ensure your beds have a depth of 12 to 18 inches. Whatever height you choose for your frame, you’ll need to loosen the soil below the ground accordingly. For example, if you have a bed that’s 6 inches high, we recommend loosening the soil below the ground about 6 to 9 inches if you wish to grow root vegetables. If you are only growing shallow-rooted crops, there’s no need.

Where to Put Raised Beds: The Best Location

Raised beds need to be in sites with lots of sun! Here are the requirements:

• Most vegetables need 6 to 8 hours of direct sunlight daily (“full sun”), especially from lunchtime onwards.

• Level, even ground. 

• Close to the house for easy access to weeding and harvesting

• Do not site your bed in a windy location or a frost pocket. 

• Soil needs to drain well, so avoid any wet or marshy areas.

  Preparing the Site: Option 1 (Basic)

  To make a basic raised bed, outline the spot where you want it with string. As mentioned above, keep it between 3 to 4 feet wide so you can still reach the center easily.

  It helps to have smothered the grass in the area, but if there is sod or grass in place, mow it short and dig it out, saving the clumps to one side.

  Loosen the soil in the bed, flip the clumps of sod upside down in the bed, scrape soil from the pathway around the outside, and add that to the bed, along with any other amendments you wish to use to raise the level of the soil.

  You can quit right here if you want.

  Preparing the Site: Option 2 (No-Dig)

  Some gardeners don’t bother digging out the turf, as the soil will block out the grass and weeds beneath it as long as it’s a thick enough layer. Gardener Charles Dowding founded the “no-dig” method. His philosophy is that digging brings more weed seeds to the soil surface, leading to more weeds and more weeding. Digging also hastens nutrient loss, so you’ll need to feed plants more often, and it rips apart the complex life and very fabric of your soil, reducing its ability to drain properly and retain moisture. 

  Here’s how to build a raised bed using a “no dig” method:

  1. Mow the grass or weeds as close to the ground as possible. Then, cover the area with cardboard, smothering the grass/weeds, and eventually rot down into the soil. (Make sure you pick off any tape and staples that won’t decompose.)

  2. Be sure to overlap the cardboard/newspaper (by about 6 inches) to ensure no weeds slip through cracks. They will reach for any sunlight they can find.

  3. Add a thick layer (4 to 6 inches) of compost on the top of the cardboard. This will be your growing medium. 

  It’s fine to get on and plant immediately after setting up. By the time the roots reach the cardboard, they will have started to break down, and they will be able to search deeper beyond that cardboard layer.

  The compost you add on top should gradually become incorporated with the soil beneath through the actions of worms, etc. Beds will need topping up with fresh organic matter (an inch or two) each fall/winter, which will help to gradually improve the fertility and health of the soil, including that below the level of the raised bed. This means you should be fine growing deeper-rooted veggies like root crops. 

  For Those With Compacted or Bad Soil 

  Digging below the ground is often necessary in soils damaged by compaction or other problems, but it only needs to be done once. This is most important for deep-rooted crops such as carrots, which do better in soil that has been loosened and amended down to 10 to 12 inches to allow air and water to reach the plants’ roots. 

  1. After mowing the grass short and digging it out, remove the top layer (about a shovel’s depth or 10 inches); it may be easiest to work in rows.

  2. Remove all rocks, old roots, and plant debris.

  3. Dig down a little further with the shovel (a few more inches) to just loosen up the soil. 

  4. Mix the soil with organic matter such as compost. We recommend that the compost make up about 25% of your soil. 

  5. Then, return the top layer and mix the soil layers together. 

  How to Build Your Garden Bed!

  Let’s make a bed! You are simply building a box—like a sandbox—requiring minimal DIY skills. It’s fine to buy a commercial raised garden kit, but they can have cringe-worthy prices.

  Tools

  • Drill/driver and bits, screwdriver

  • If cutting the planks yourself (vs. lumber store): Hand saw, tape measure

  Materials

  • For a 4x8 foot bed, get 3 pieces of 8-foot long 2”x6” lumber. If they have 2”x8” or 2”x10” lumber, even better.  For a 4x4 bed, get 2 pieces of lumber. 

  • If you don’t have a saw, ask the guys at the lumber yard to cut the pieces in half. For the 4x8 foot bed, they will cut one of the pieces in half for you, giving you two 4 foot lengths to use for the ends. For the 4x4 bed, they will cut both pieces in half.

  • Deck/exterior screws

  • To make it stronger, use a piece of  2X4 or 4X4 in the corners to give you something stable to nail or screw into rather than the end grain of the board.

Fill your beds all the way up! The soil will settle, especially with watering. As it settles, you can always top off with compost.

Filling a Raised Bed

The most important part of any garden is the soil, and the more organic matter it contains, the better. Soil microbes are fed, oxygen and water readily reach roots, and plants thrive. Here is the balance to aim for:

• 40% compost: Compost is packed with nutrients for plants. While you can compost at home, it can also be purchased in bags from your local garden center. Aged manure can also be used, but you can NOT put fresh manure directly in your garden. Learn more about manure.

• 40% topsoil: We’re not talking about “potting soil,” as it’s too fluffy for raised beds. You’ll also find bagged topsoil at a garden center, local farm supply, or lumber store. 

• 20% aeration: In terms of aeration, many bagged soil mixes already contain some perlite, pumice, or rice hulls. If not, you need to add something for drainage. Lava rock is also a good aerator for drainage.

If you are filling a lot of raised beds, we’d recommend that you look into a local landscape company to build soil and compost mixes, which should be cheaper. But if you’re filling up a small bed, bagged is the way to go.

Start Growing

Spring Planting options

NAIDOC Week 2023

NAIDOC Week this year has a theme ‘For Our Elders’ such a beautiful contemplation and opportunity for our children to learn from our First Nations culture and particularly our Elders and also celebrate them!

There are so many ways to you can take part but here are some options.

FIRST Exhibition – Newcastle Museum

Running until August 6, Newcastle Museum’s FIRST exhibition features different works by local First Nations Creatives. First is about providing a space for the abundance of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander creatives with a connection to Newcastle and the Hunter Region. Showcasing their work on what can feel like an unattainable platform – this is a chance to leave a first (and hopefully lasting) impression.

Date: Runs until Sunday 6 August 2023
Time: 10am – 5pm (Tues – Sun)
Location: Newcastle Museum 
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Newcastle Art Gallery Outdoor Projection – Dead Tongue (2015)

To celebrate NAIDOC Week, Newcastle Art Gallery is proud to present video work Dead Tongue (2015) by leading First Nations artist Dr Christian Thompson AO from their collection. Presented as a large-scale outdoor projection at James Street Plaza in Hamilton, the work comprises a moving portrait of the artist along with a stirring soundtrack of the artist singing in Bidjara language. 

Date: Monday 3 July – Sunday 27 August 2023
Time: 6-8pm (Sun-Thu), 6-9pm (Fri, Sat)
Location: James Street Plaza, Hamilton
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Storytime at Cessnock City Library

Join Cessnock City Library for a special NAIDOC Storytime for the whole family. This event is for children aged 5+ – please check that you child meets the age limits before booking. Parents/carers are asked to remain the library for the duration of the event.

Date: Tuesday 4 July 2023
Time: 10-10.30am
Location: Cessnock City Library
Age Group: Ages 5+
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Week Fun Day – Nelson Bay

Join in the Port Stephens NAIDOC Week events to celebrate and recognise the history, culture and achievements of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples across Port Stephens. There’l be a march down Stockton Street at 9.30am and a Family Fun Day at Nelson Bay Foreshore from 10am.

Date: Wednesday 5 July 2023
Time: from 9.30am
Location: Nelson Bay
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Week Storytime at Kurri Kurri Library

Storytelling, movement and nature-based craft will be used to introduce children to Wayapa Wuurrk, an Aboriginal based earth mindfulness.

Date: Wednesday 5 July 2023
Time: 10-11am
Location: Kurri Kurri Library 
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Koori Colours Clay Class with Jason Russell

Come along to the Port Stephens Visitor Information Centre for an intimate sculpting class with Worimi artist Jason Russell, from Koori Colours. Jason will show you how to make your very own coolamon, using air dry clay. All ages welcome. Young children must be supervised by an adult. Only 20 places available. Bookings essential.

Date: Wednesday 5 July 2023
Time: 10-12pm
Location: Port Stephens Visitor Information Centre
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Singleton NAIDOC Week Community Day

Join in a Welcome Ceremony, free BBQ, cultural activities, koorioke and jumping castles. There’ll be 30+ services as well as community stalls and an Elders tent.

Date: Wednesday 5 July 2023
Time: 10-2pm
Location: Singleton Showground
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Week Free Film – Top End Wedding

As part of NAIDOC Week 2023, join PACC for a free screening of the hit 2019 film Top End Wedding. Top End Wedding is a 2019 Australian romantic comedy film directed by Wayne Blair.

Date: Wednesday 5 July 2023
Time: 11-1pm
Location: PACC Cessnock
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Wanay Disco – Metford

Join DJ Vesta Kids at a Wanay Disco. Free entry, disco, feed, competitions, lucky door prizes. All children must be supervised by their parents or guardians.

Date: Wednesday 5 July 2023
Time: 6-9pm
Location: 1A Chelmsford Avenue, Metford 
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Lovett Gallery Exhibition: Koori Knockout – 50 Years

In 1971 at the Clifton Hotel in Redfern, six young First Nations men created what is today the largest gathering of First Nations peoples in NSW — known as the Koori Knockout. In this exhibition, follow the competition from those early days played at Camdenville Oval, St Peters with just seven men’s teams in the first Knockout, to becoming a fixture in the First Nations calendar and the biggest rugby league knockout carnival anywhere in the world.

Date: Thursday 6 July – Saturday 21 October 2023
Location: Lovett Gallery, Level 2, Newcastle City Library
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Week Art Workshops at Stockland Glendale

In partnership with local organisation Speaking in Colour, Stockland Glendale thrilled to offer engaging kids Aboriginal Art workshops honouring this year’s NAIDOC Week theme: For Our Elders. During this event, children immerse themselves in the vibrant world of Aboriginal art. Led by experienced facilitators, participants will learn about the significance of Aboriginal art and its connection to cultural storytelling. Plus, contribute to the “For Our Elders” art space. Alongside their artwork, kids can complete a heartfelt letter to their own ‘Elder’. 

Date: Thursday 6 – Saturday 8 July 2023
Time: 10-2pm
Location: Stockland Glendale (outside Coles)
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Free Sand Art at Jesmond Central

Join Jesmond Central as they celebrate NAIDOC week at the centre with sand art on beautiful Indigenous art designs and unleash your creativity! 

Date: Thursday 6 – Sunday 9 July 2023
Time: 10-1pm
Location: Centre Court, Jesmond Central
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Coolamon Making Workshop at Port Stephens Libraries

Coolamons were traditionally used to carry water, fruits and nuts, as well as to cradle babies. Come along and create your own coolamon from clay. For ages 7 to 13 years. Bookings essential.

Date: Thursday 6 July 2023
Time: 10-12pm at Tomaree Library, 2-4pm at Raymond Terrace Library
Age Group: 7-13
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Artmaking at MAC yapang

Enjoy a family friendly tour of the exhibition and create artworks inspired by First Nations culture. This program is for families to learn and create. Guest Artist, proud descendant of the Wiradjuri/Wongaibon people, Renae Lamb will lead families in making art inspired by NAIDOC week. Each session is 50mins and will include a short introduction to the current exhibition clay play and drawing. Suitable for all ages. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Session 1 – 10am, Session 2 – 11am.

Date: Thursday 6 July 2023
Time: 10-12pm
Location: Museum of Art and Culture (MAC), Lake Macquarie
Age Group: All ages
Cost: $9.78
Website

NAIDOC Week Storytime and Wayapa Wuurrk Family Practice Introduction – Wallsend Library

Join Indigenous health practitioner Sarah Corrigan from Rainbow Crow Cultural Collective for a special NAIDOC Week Storytime and an introduction to the Wayapa program for families. Wayapa® is an earth connection practice that is based on ancient Indigenous wisdom, focusing on taking care of the Earth as the starting point for creating Earth Mind Body Spirit well-being. Mindfulness and Indigenous inspired movements allow for a healing space through yarning, sharing and connection. Spaces limited.

Date: Thursday 6 July 2023
Time: 11-12pm
Location: Wallsend Library
Age Group: All ages (under 12 must be accompanied by an adult)
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Week Free Film – Teach A Man To Fish

As part of NAIDOC Week 2023, join PACC for a free screening of the 2018 documentary film Teach A Man To Fish. Grant Leigh Saunders is an Aboriginal filmmaker, writer and musician who has secretly always wanted to be a fisherman, just like his father and grandfather before him. This fishing yarn is set against the backdrop of the beautiful Manning River in central New South Wales.

Date: Thursday 6 July 2023
Time: 11.00am
Location: PACC Cessnock
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Week Storytime and Wayapa Wuurrk Family Practice Introduction – Newcastle (City) Library

Join Indigenous health practitioner Sarah Corrigan from Rainbow Crow Cultural Collective for a special NAIDOC Week Storytime and an introduction to the Wayapa program for families. Wayapa® is an earth connection practice that is based on ancient Indigenous wisdom, focusing on taking care of the Earth as the starting point for creating Earth Mind Body Spirit well-being. Mindfulness and Indigenous inspired movements allow for a healing space through yarning, sharing and connection. Spaces limited.

Date: Friday 7 July 2023
Time: 11-12pm
Location: Newcastle (City) Library
Age Group: All ages (under 12 must be accompanied by an adult)
Cost: Free
Website

Kiray Putjung Aboriginal Corporation NAIDOC Family Fun Day

Everyone is invited to this great day out to celebrate Aboriginal culture. There’ll be weaving workshops, entertainment, Elders marquee and market stalls.

Date: Saturday 8 July 2023
Time: 10.30-3pm
Location: TAFE Park, Cessnock
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Week Celebrations at Charlestown Square

Join Speaking In Colour for an art workshop where you can learn about the Indigenous art forms and their stories. Get ready to be inspired, connect with the local community, and contribute to NAIDOC Week celebrations at Charlestown Square!

Date: Saturday 8 July 2023
Time: 10-2pm
Location: Charlestown Square, Level 1
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Kiray Putjung Aboriginal Corporation Flag Raising and Welcome to Country

Join Kiray Putjung Aboriginal Corporation to honour NAIDOC week 2023, the local Aboriginal Community and ackowledge the culture of all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples.

Date: Saturday 8 July 2023
Time: From 10.30am
Location: TAFE Park, Cessnock
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

NAIDOC Week Celebration at Hunter Region Botanic Gardens

Join in on an exclusive workshop making your very own Coolamon (limited spaces, bookings essential) or enjoy the free activities including Aboriginal Dance workshops, story telling, sampling bush foods or Gundabooka Trail Guided Tour. There will also be a sausage sizzle, raffles and plant sales. Cafe and Gift Shop will be open.

Date: Sunday 9 July 2023
Time: 10-2.30pm
Location: Hunter Region Botanic Gardens
Age Group: All ages
Cost: Free
Website

Tips for Raising Teens

Babies are A LOT and from what we hear teenagers are even harder. We’ve taken a poll to determine the tops things you can do to help you raise better teenagers.

1. Respect and listen to them.

2. Reward increasing maturity with more freedom.

3. Take away privileges if they can’t handle the freedom.

4. Set clear and firm rules.

5. Hold them accountable – set and follow through with consequences.

6. Expect them to keep their word and you do the same.

7. Don’t take difficult behaviors as a dare or challenge.

8. Accept that peers are an important influence.

9. Know that teens need you in their lives, but on their terms.

10. Continue to share your values.

 
As teens move toward greater independence, they often rebel and resist parental rules. This requires parents to adjust some of their tried-and-true approaches that may have been effective when their kids were younger.
 
Changing some rules and giving more privileges as teens show better judgment are ways you can help them to slowly gain maturity.
 
Parents do best if they do not take their teens’ actions as personal assaults on them, but rather if they think their kids are “just doing their job” of growing up.
 
Teens are rapidly changing and often their lives are filled with emotional, physical, intellectual, and social turmoil. Understanding this helps parents manage their child’s new and rocky stage of development.
 
Remember that teens can be passionate, exuberant, fun, idealistic, and creative. Raising them can fill your life with the same.

We enlisted the help of incredibly cool local Mumma Kylie Phillis on teenage chat

"I was pulled over by a police officer and he caught me pumping milk for my baby"

We all know breast feeding can be a wild and crazy journey. It’s not as easy as just pop your child on the breast and hey presto! Women may choose to pump for a variety of reasons, where their babies are fed breast milk by a bottle or other methods, rather than directly from the breast.

This podcast was produced with Jaimie Abbott to help mums who pump milk to feed their bubs for whatever reason we hope it helps.

When new Mum Jaimie Abbott gave birth to her first child, her breastfeeding journey didn't quite work out, so she decided to commit to exclusive pumping breast milk 24 hours a day. Her journey and life so far is quite inspiring , what an exceptional Mumma!

Your Permission to Parent

Natalie Ebrill was a recent guest on our podcast you can listen below. We have seen lots of parents on the NHM saying things like this.. "because my daughter/son doesn't like......sitting in the bath/eating in the high chair/sleeping in their cot or big bed/sitting in the stroller/wearing a sleeping bag!" My response is usually as tactful as possible - So we thought we’d grab these wise words from Nat and share them with you

"Who gave them a choice?"

I appreciate and encourage parents in the first twelve months to get to know and understand their child's personality to effectively predict and meet their child's needs. In the first 6 months the routine can change each day and if we don't ensure the baby eats, feeds and plays effectively then we pay with an unhappy overtired baby. So we learn very quickly to make them happy and act quickly. From the age of 6 months their routine becomes a little more predictable (except for power naps) and we can plan to ensure a good day but still jump to attention when they are upset to fix whatever's wrong. The baby with responsive parents learns very quickly "I cry/scream, they come and fix the problem" which is how it needs to be. We want and need to respond to our children's cries for help.

It is usually from the 12 month and over mark that I aim to "give parents permission to be the parent" and start to set some guidelines for behaviour and routines. I am not talking about discipline here just guidelines for acceptable and safe behaviour which is very individual for each family. The problem occurs when our baby who knew if they called, you came and gave them what they wanted, now are developing a will and desires and know exactly what they want, but it might not be appropriate, safe or the right time. Hence mum and dad who were jumping to the baby's needs are having a hard time pulling back and putting limits on the now toddler's needs and battles are starting.

In exploring the previous examples:

• Your baby can now stand independently and doesn't want to sit in the bath anymore, they want to stand because they can. When you start insisting they sit in the bath for safety reasons, they start screaming, so you let them against your better judgment because you don't like the screaming.

• Your baby is so mobile on the floor and doesn't like the idea of sitting still and eating in the high chair so a battle begins and ..... mum or dad can't stand the screaming. Often this leads to eating in the bouncer, in the walker, on someone's lap, or heaven forbid...chasing the toddler around the house begging them to eat!

• When baby starts crawling and cruising on the furniture they can stimulate themselves easily and delay or prevent sleeping in the cot/big bed. The increased mobility and in particular the ability of baby to stand up in the cot or get out of the big bed can lead to increased crying and parents thinking that baby doesn't like the cot or big bed. It only takes two sleeps to create a habit and short term survival strategies such as allowing your baby to sleep in other places to avoid the screaming often lead to more screaming and other problems developing.

• When baby/toddler starts walking, get older and stronger they enjoy their freedom and really put up a whinging/screaming fight against sitting in the stroller. However it is still sometimes necessary for safety, convenience and portability in daily activities to require your baby/toddler to sit in a stroller even if they don't want to. It's OK for the occasional escape and walk around when it suits you and the toddler is cooperating, but chasing a toddler through a shopping centre, away from the road when walking or potentially losing them at showground is not enjoyable!

• Parents often report that their babies/toddlers 'don't like' wearing a sleeping bag. It is natural for the sleeping bag to be a new experience especially since the baby/toddler was usually wrapped before the sleeping bag was introduced. Some toddlers may protest at the feeling of having their legs contained and being unable to stand up so quickly, but that is the whole point! The role of the sleeping bag (summer and winter) is to replace the blankets for the mobile baby and make sure they are warm wherever they end up sleeping in the cot (since they won't stay tucked in anymore), to prevent their legs getting stuck through the bars of the cot and as a bonus it makes it a little harder for them to stand up in the cot and stimulate themselves. When your toddler realizes that it is a cue for sleep we expect them to protest sometimes if they don't believe they are ready for bed but that doesn't mean they don't need a sleeping bag or that they don't 'like it'.

• Getting changed on the change table. Sometimes I wonder why some parents even buy these! In so many homes I hear that they are great for storing things until the toddler empties the shelves but they are very rarely used for changing the baby. When your baby becomes mobile rolling and crawling they often want to exercise this ability whenever they can. Many parents report how surprised they are at how strong their baby is and they don't want to risk fighting them to get changed on the change table, this then turns to chasing the baby all over the floor and then the lounge room just to get them dressed. I suggest dressing and undressing as quickly as possible, placing a hand on the baby/toddlers tummy and saying "be still, nearly finished" and persisting with the activity. The child is only fighting because they hope for a chance of escape onto the floor! Any whinging/tantrums that are rewarded with moving to the floor encourage more of the same behaviour next time.

From these examples I wanted to show you situations where you needed cooperation from your baby/toddler and they fought you and you needed to make a decision whether to have peace at any price and give in to the screaming/whinging or whether to stand firm on your guidelines. I appreciate that this process of putting your guidelines in place can be very challenging and a little heartbreaking, but you have the choice how you wish to parent your child now and also consider the future ramifications of your parenting. As the child gets older it is harder to get tougher and change established household rules and guidelines.

A great example I use is this: Mum and dad are struggling to gain cooperation on lots of daily activities with their 15 month old daughter. They are choosing at the moment to have 'peace at any price' and give in to her tantrums because they "don't want to upset her". However they are getting increasingly frustrated and feel powerless, their daughter is the boss and they wonder how they got into this situation. So I put this scenario to them.

...When your daughter is 15 years old and ready to go out dressed in nearly nothing, lots of makeup on and high heals, the newly qualified ''P'' plate boyfriend is beeping his horn out the front and hasn't even bothered to come in and introduce himself.....will you let her go out?.... or will you insist that she dress more appropriately and you at least meet the boyfriend or maybe she cannot go at all?....If you insist on your rules then she won't like it at all and may ''hate'' you...but you would probably put your foot down and remain firm with her. If you don't start now to set acceptable rules for behaviour and not rewarding tantrums you will not have any control at 5, 10 or 15 years.

• Remember to positively encourage the acceptable behaviour. Catch them being good and thank them, they will love it!

• Don't give in, stand firm and enjoy the benefits of cooperation. Your children will thank you. Children who receive limits and boundaries feel more loved and secure than those without them

Natalie Ebrill.

4 Benefits Of Walking

Relief, I’m out of the house!

It’s often massively underrated but one of the most beneficial forms of exercise is walking. It’s still cardio, takes zero equipment and training, and can be done just about anywhere! And, going for a walk when you're tired may be a more effective energy booster than grabbing a cup of coffee?

The benefits of walking are endless, but we rounded up four that we think are pretty sweet!

1. It can help you live longer

No joke!  New research has found that walking each day could help you live longer. You don’t need to commit to lengthy strolls every day to improve your health, fitting in steps throughout the day is proven to have a positive impact. The findings, which were presented at the American Heart Association’s Epidemiology and Prevention | Lifestyle and Cardiometabolic Health Conference, found that people who took more steps each day had a significantly lower risk of death than those who were less active.


2. Walking boosts brainpower

More brainpower? Who doesn’t love that? In a study done by Snap Fitness UK, Dr. Ben Webb, a neuroscientist who studied at Oxford, says all exercise – regardless of how difficult it is or what type – will change the brain in a positive way, by promoting the growth of new brain cells and chemicals that affect mood, memory, and energy levels.

Another study found when kids spent 20 minutes walking on a treadmill, they did better on testing at school. Experts think these benefits could be due in part to increased blood flow to the brain that occurs with exercise.


3. It will kickstart your immune system

These days we’re all looking for ways to improve our immune system, and walking can do just that. Research shows that moderate exercise and walking ramps up our immune system. Not only that, if you do get sick, research has found that people who walk more spend less time in the hospital.


4. It boosts your mood and alleviates stress

What improves your physical health typically has a positive impact on your mental health and the same is true for walking. Walking boosts your mood and decreases stress, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). The reason? The endorphins that are produced when you move your body. Just five minutes of walking can improve your mood and can start to lower anxiety, according to the ADAA.

So why not try…

• Taking the stairs vs. elevator

• If you can, walk to the gym instead of driving

• Park farther away from your destination

• Take a quick walk in your lunch break.

NHM and Snap Fitness want to offer Mummas a free trial with a coaching session try them out here

snapnation.com.au/NHM

Healthy Eating On The Go: A Guide For Your Busy Lifestyle

Figuring out how to eat healthy when you’re busy isn’t always easy. Between back-to-back meetings, errands, or classes, you may only have time to grab something quick. The tips and tricks below will help you form a game plan and make fueling yourself fit better into your busy schedule!

1. Keep healthy snacks on hand!

Whether you are running your daily errands or powering through your workday, keeping a healthy snack, or two on hand is crucial to avoid “hanger.” A nutritious snack will provide you with the energy you need to stay focused and feel your best until it’s time to clock out or do whatever it is you have to do!

Generally, an energizing and sustaining snack is going to include protein, fat, and/or fiber.

Check out this list of healthy snacks you can keep in your bag, car, or desk—no refrigeration required!

2. Meal prep breakfast the night before

Meal prepping is the concept of prepping whole meals ahead of schedule and it’s particularly popular amongst busy people because it can save a lot of time and keep you on top of your nutrition goals. A nutritious breakfast fuels you for the rest of your day and sets you up for success.

Here are a few recipes to try:

Berry Bircher

Oatmeal

Energy Balls

Overnight oats

3. Be aware of healthy options when dining out

Restaurant food is meant to look, smell and taste delicious, and that means that sometimes nutrition can sometimes fall short when menus feature main dishes that are fried or covered in sauces and few fresh fruits and veggies. Don’t get us wrong, you must enjoy your pizza and fries every once and a while but if your busy schedule has you eating out regularly, there are ways to make more nutritious choices.

Here are a few tips:

• Check out the menu beforehand. It’s easier to choose a more nutritious meal option when you are not distracted. Look for meals that contain a well-rounded plate with veggies and protein.

• Eat slowly. It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to get the message from your stomach that you are no longer hungry. It’s easier to overeat when you eat fast.

• If you can, park farther away or walk to your restaurant. You'll get your meal, some extra movement, and avoid the parking hassles.

 Get a free coaching session and a trial of Snap Fitness now with NHM here snapnation.com.au/NHM

Lift Your Mood With This Lower-Body Workout

You already know that exercise is great for your mental health in the long run, but did you know that just a single workout can have an immediate, positive benefit on your brain including your mood and your focus? Neuroscientist and author Wendy Suzuki spoke on a recentTed Talk about the immediate and long-lasting benefits of exercise, and it’s mind-blowing to say the least. 

Benefits of Exercise:

1. Exercise has immediate effects on your brain. A single workout will immediately increase levels of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin and noradrenaline. These effects will increase your mood right after that workout. Her studies also found that a single workout increases your attention and focus for at least two hours.

2. Exercise also has long-lasting benefits. Over time, regular exercise gives you better focus and attention, plus your overall long-term mood will improve.

3. Just as the mental health aspect of exercise is transformative, so are the brain health benefits. Your brain gets stronger and more resilient the more you use and care for it. Suzuki explains that this is important because it strengthens the areas of the brain that are most susceptible neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and normal cognitive decline in aging. So, with increased exercise over your lifetime, you're working towards prevention.

Ready to get all these great benefits and not sure where to start? This lower-body workout is the perfect place to start!  If you have questions with any of the exercises, ask a team member!

Lower-body Workout:  

• Warm-up for 5-10 minutes by walking, jogging, rowing, or cycling

• Perform 1-3 warm up sets of each movement to build up to your optimal weight

• After you have completed your workout, finish with 5 minutes of stretching, focusing on your lower-body muscle-group!

 
Lower-body Exercises

• Barbell Squat
  Sets: 5 Reps: 3

SUPERSET

• Leg Press
  Sets: 5 Reps: 20

• Walking Lunges
  Sets: 5 Reps: 20/ per leg

SUPERSET

• Swiss Ball Hip Extension One Leg
  Sets: 4 Reps: 10/ per leg

• Calf Raises
  Sets: 4 Reps: Perform as many reps as you can!

After you've completed the workout, noticed how your mood changed! 

Get a free trial now with your friends at Snap Fitness Thanks to NHM here

Baked Ginger And Garlic Salmon

When it comes to mood-boosting food, salmon is the catch of the day! 

Cold-water fish, like salmon, is key for mental wellness thanks to all the omega-3 fats they contain. Researchers identified eating a high quantity of omega-3-rich foods as a top habit for preventing depression. The reason: DHA and EPA, the two main components of omega-3 that are crucial for maintaining your brain’s neurons, which raises your levels of the smile-raising hormone serotonin—yes, please!

Believe it or not, there are five main kinds of salmon. Some kinds of salmon live in freshwater, some live in saltwater, and some live in both, depending on the season.

Types of Salmon

The five main kinds of salmon are all of the Pacific variety.

• Sockeye salmon is a red-colored fish and happens to be lower in fat than other varieties. It’s a popular variety and quite tasty.

• King or Chinook salmon is very high in fat and more expensive. This is typically only found in high-end fish markets or fancy restaurants.

• Pink salmon is a very small, pale variety of the fish. This kind of salmon is most often used in the canning process, and what you’ll find when you purchase cans of salmon.

• Chum salmon is a type that’s most popular for its eggs. They are the kind of eggs that you see in sushi rolls.

• Coho salmon is another popular type of fish and is milder in taste than other varieties of salmon. It’s that silver salmon you most often see in photos of fishermen holding up a giant salmon for photographers.

Next time you’re looking to lift your mood and mental health, try this Baked Ginger and Garlic Salmon recipe!

Baked Ginger and Garlic Salmon Ingredients:

• 100g Salmon (we recommend pink salmon for this recipe)

• 2 2/3 cups Cooked brown rice

• 5 tbsp Slivered almonds

• 1 cup Green beans

• 2 cups Broccoli florets

• 1 Small knob ginger

• 1 Clove garlic

• 1 tbsp Coriander

• ½ Whole lemon 

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees

2. Cook the rice per the packet instructions.

3. Combine finely chopped ginger, garlic, fresh coriander, and juice of half a lemon in a small bowl and mix well.

4. Place the salmon on aluminum foil and drizzle lemon herb mix over the top.

5. Wrap the salmon loosely in foil and bake 13-15 minutes.

6. Steam or boil the green beans and broccoli florets for 5-6 minutes, until cooked through but still bright and crunchy.

7. Serve the salmon over cooked brown rice with green beans and broccoli. Top greens with a squeeze of lemon juice and a sprinkle of silvered almond and dig in!

Notes:

• Swap this recipe with another fish if you prefer

• When choosing salmon try to use wild-caught salmon or farm-raised because they contain the least amount of contaminants

• Frozen salmon can be used. Thaw the salmon first. If using the skin on, place them skin side on first on the skillet

• Storing a piece of salmon is simple. Just put it in an airtight container or wrap tightly in aluminum foil and put it in the fridge. It will keep for about 3-4 days.

• To reheat oven-baked salmon, warm at a low heat in a pan and add a splash of water for added moisture.

  Recipe thanks to Snap Fitness, try them now free with a friend and get a training session too on us!

5 of the Best Road Trip Games for Keeping Kids Entertained - APOLLO RV SALES NEWCASTLE

Road tripping with kids is one of the most rewarding things you can do as a parent. It’s amazing to see our children getting out and exploring nature and the world around them. However, that doesn’t mean that road tripping with kids is without its challenges. If you’re on the road with kids, you’ve likely heard, “Are we there yet”? so many times that you wish the phrase no longer existed. And while tablets and phones provide a great source of entertainment for our little ones, as parents, we often don’t want our kids constantly glued to a screen. Well, no need to worry, because we’ve compiled a list of the top 5 tried and tested road trip games that are guaranteed to hold the attention of your kids for hours during all of your RV journeys to come:

1. Road Trip Bingo Road trip bingo is the perfect game for long drives because it’s relatively easy to set up and will hold the attention of your kids. It’s also great because it can be played by any number of people so it doesn’t matter if you have one kid on the road with you or a whole troop of them. Road trip bingo simply requires you (or your kids) to make a list of regular items that you might come across on the road eg. a dog in another car, a motorhome, an out-of-state license plate etc. and your kids simply have to tick the items off as they see them. Another reason that we love this game is that you can adapt the length of the list depending on how long the journey is, so if you’re doing a big driving day you might be brave enough to attempt a 100-item list. We should warn you though that this game can get pretty competitive, but that’s all part of the fun!

2. Forbidden Phrases Forbidden phrases is super easy to play and requires very little effort on your behalf, which is always a bonus. Simply come up with 5 words or phrases (any more than 5 might be too much for your kids to remember) that the kids aren’t allowed to say during the journey. Each of your kids can start with 10 points and they lose one point each time they say one of the “forbidden phrases”. The person with the most points at the end of the journey wins. It’s hilarious listening to your kids making conversation in the back as they try to trick each other into using the forbidden phrases.

3. 20 Questions This is a classic road trip game played by adults and kids alike which is hardly surprising considering it’s so much fun! You can join in on this game or simply teach your kids how to play so that you can relax (or drive) for a bit. 20 Questions is a guessing game where one person has to think of a famous person, character or type of animal and the other participant/s have to ask questions to figure out what/who they are. What makes it so interesting is that the guessers are only allowed to ask yes or no questions AND they only get to ask 20 questions which sometimes makes the whole thing pretty tricky, no matter how old you are! This is also a great way for you to develop your kids’ critical thinking skills without them even realising it.

4. Alphabet Race This one is a bit of a similar concept to road trip bingo. To play alphabet race, simply write the alphabet out on pieces of paper for your children and tell them they have to spot items during the drive that begin with each letter of the alphabet. The first one to get all the letters wins, and if that doesn’t happen (let’s be honest, letters like X and Z can be pretty difficult) whoever has the most letters filled in at the end of the drive, wins. It’s as easy as that!

5. Pitstop Wars This one isn’t really a game that you play in the car but it’s still great for road trips. All you have to do is plan a mini sports competition that will take place every time you have to make a pitstop. Picture something like “the first person to do 10 jumping jacks, 10 sprints and 10 squats wins”. When kids are spending a big portion of the day in the car, they’re pretty sedentary and aren’t getting much physical activity so this is a fun way to get them up and moving for a few minutes. And if your kids are in a bit of an iPad haze (we’ve all been there) this is a great way to snap them out of it. If you’re lucky, all the running and jumping around might even be enough to make them conk out for a nap.

Getting Intimate again after baby - with NHM Mumma Tanya Bowen

Intimacy after a baby - Hello Hunter and Newcastle mums! Our journey as mums is incredible, being a mum is the BEST job I have ever had, hands down but it is also by far the hardest. It is not the most glamorous job by a long shot, the pay is terrible, the hours are long, the bosses often have very unrealistic expectations of us and what just is a relaxing holiday or sick day? But every single day is filled with moments so special that no matter how bad the working conditions may seem on the hard days we all know we wouldn't change it for the world.

A little about me, my name is Tanya. I am mum to two amazing little boys my first is 3 and my second is 7 months old. I live in lovely Lake Macquarie where my boys and I are spoilt for choice of parks and outdoor activities.

Today I thought I would share a very personal journey with you in the hope it can help some of you lovely new mummas out. Intimacy after a baby. For some people its easy to get back on the horse, however for some of us unlucky ones it is a much more difficult journey. All the books I read said wait six weeks so I did, I had my six week check the same day as my baby and of course my husband was very happy to hear that all was well healed and life could go on as 'normal'. That night however things did not go as normal, it was painful. I kept telling myself surely that is normal? Every time my husband and I tried to be intimate it was met with pain and feelings of guilt. Of course being a fairly private person I was embarrassed and kept telling myself it would get better and it would be fine. I didn't really know any other mums, the only other mum I did know had a very different birth so we couldn't even compare. Fast forward nine months. Still pain and of course plenty of strain on our relationship. Finally I swallowed my pride and visited the drs. My lovely dr assured me it was not normal and after an internal exam found that my pelvic floor muscles had developed a memory from birth and was expecting pain from touch, so the muscles were on their own contracting in an attempt to protect me from pain. Thankfully there was a solution; pelvic floor physio. Six appointments later and I learnt how to control these muscles. It took work and practice (which naturally my husband had no objections to) but normality returned (or the new version of normality when you have a baby!).

Normally I tend to be a private person but I think it is important for mums who may not have a mum tribe they can consult or feel comfortable consulting to know that pain isn't normal after a baby and there is no reason to be embarrassed. Don't wait hoping things will get better, seek help there is plenty available and bulk billing options too (though these can take a little longer to get an appointment). Good luck mummas, it wasn't in the job description but it doesn't change the fact being a mum is the greatest job and gift. Also for those of you wondering there were no problems after baby no. 2!

Christmas far and near - with NHM Mumma Monica Pancho

December is here! And Christmas is oh so near! Christmas is a big celebration for my family, especially my husband who insisted we put up our tree on November 1st. Yes, we are those people! And why not? It helps bring some colour and excitement into our daily lives given the crappy year and last few months we've had.

Christmas is celebrated in many ways in different cultures and countries but essentially it's bringing the family together to share joy and feast on food.

In Colombia, where my husband is from, the unofficial start to the Christmas season is on December 7th where they celebrate Dia de Las Velitas (Day of Candles). This is a national holiday whereby houses and streets are lined with candles and lanterns in honour of the Virgin Mary and the eve of the Immaculate Conception. Many traditions in Colombia stem from their strong ties to Catholicism.

Then on the 16th of December a tradition called “Novenas" begin. This is where families gather at a different house each night, say prayers and sing songs. Children are encouraged to make noise with instruments or pots and pans to these songs. This is followed by sharing of food and drink, in particular buñelos (baked cheesy bread balls) and natilla (a type of custard/pudding). Things that I'm currently craving but can't seem to find up here in the Hunter

Similarly, in Filipino tradition (where my family is from) from the 16th of December people partake in “simbang gabi" (translated to church at night). Every morning for the 9 days in the lead up to Christmas people attend a dawn mass at 4am finishing up with midnight mass on Christmas eve. People would then visit street vendors to buy common Christmas treats such as bibingka (a coconut rice cake baked in a clay oven with banana leaves) and puto bumbong (purple steamed rice cakes cooked in bamboo tubes – purple coming from ube which is Taro).

Simbang Gabi isn't very common in Australia but I know of some Churches in Sydney that have large Filipino communities that do this. For me personally, midnight mass was something I looked forward to which usually started with singing carols before mass started.

I was lucky enough to celebrate 2 Christmases in the Philippines. One of the best things about Christmas in the Philippines is all the streets and houses decked out in lights. Hubby says he misses the Christmas vibe of Colombia as it's very much the same.

In both our cultures Christmas is usually celebrated on Christmas eve at midnight which we call “Noche Buena" where we have a big family feast. It's been a long time since we celebrated at midnight since many of my family have small children and was hard to keep them up past midnight but many of my Filipino friends in Australia still do this with their large families.

For our little family, my twins were born 2 days before Christmas so we have a few days of celebrating this month. We try to make sure the girls know that the days are separate. Poor December babies often have joint Christmas and Birthday everything haha!

Still a couple weeks to go but really just looking forward to spending time with my family and having some good food!

What’s your family Christmas tradition?

Featured Writer - Monica Pancho

Celebrity SAS Australia - It's been a few weeks since the Celebrity SAS Australia concluded and just like the first season I loved it!

Last year we saw Sabrina Frederick pass the SAS selection test and it was so inspiring seeing her finish as the only female to do so along with comedian Merrick Watts and rugby player Nick Cummins.

This season of SAS Australia, I grew to love Jana Pitman with every episode.

Growing up in Australia I heard of Jana quite a bit in the media. I knew of her efforts as a track and field athlete and as a dual Olympian also competing in the bobsled at the Winter Olympics. Once athletes stop competing though you don't hear too much more about them.

Jana introduced herself on the show as a former dual Olympian, a mum of 4 kids (one who at the time of filming was only 6 months old) and now a doctor.

Doctor Jana! I don't know about you but that in itself impressed me!

Throughout the show she spoke a lot about being a mum, how challenging it was juggling her med school studies while raising her kids. She even openly admitted how she had a bit of an accident during one of the tasks where she leaked in the last moments of the run. Oh Jana.. we know the feels! (Cue call to book an appointment with my Pelvic Health Physio!)

I personally was devastated that Jana didn't make selection but she did so much to impress the Directing Staff. She finished in the final 5 but was culled before the last task.

Up until now, watching Jana and hearing of her efforts throughout her life has lit a fire in me. Something about going from elite athlete to doctor kind of makes me feel that anything is possible and she did it being a single mum at the time (from what I gather). She also recently announced she is pregnant with babies 5 and 6… TWINS!

Since the birth of my twins almost 3 years ago I was in absolute awe of the amazing midwives and the care they gave me. I spent most of my pregnancy seeing doctors as twin pregnancies are classed as high risk. I had a midwife who rechecked me and found I was in labour when another told me I wasn't. She checked on me when the doctors were MIA and found out I was 8cm. She held my hand while I was pushing and did all she could to keep the supervising obstetrician from intervening. I had a 2nd midwife hold my hand when my husband needed to leave the room after seeing my blood pooling on the floor. And then when both bubs were delivered the 1st midwife had stayed 2 hours past the end of her shift, stayed with my husband until I was stable and walked him out at 11pm.

Midwives are amazing and after my 3rd bub I knew that this is my calling. To give that care back to other mums. Learning about Jana and her journey has fuelled me and I have made a promise to one day start and finish a midwifery degree. Even if have to be a 40yr old student midwife!

Featured Writer - Rose Mac

The first day back to school - I know I’m not alone feeling the dread of the first day back from school holidays, which lurks behind every door and under every smile. But it doesn’t make me feel much better about it.

I’ve been anxious all day, waiting for tomorrow morning. I know it will start as soon I am roused from my sleep by the piping of their unmoderated voices, and I’ll check my phone is still safe in its latest hiding place. Then the routine begins.

Dressing

The dressing is done relatively quickly with and without thought. T-shirt askew, a button attempted and no underwear. Underwear of any sort is too itchy, tight, or scratchy.

Breakfast

Always with the answer, 'I don’t want breakfast’, resulting in wanting whatever the other sibling is having or a protest of whatever is put in front of them. If a choice is given, it’s too difficult to decide.

Packing

Lunches are made by me the night before, in the fridge and ready to be popped into school bags. Drink bottles are scrounged from the backyard from where they were left after repeated calls to ‘pick up your drink bottle’. Hats, a tad mouldy from being squished at the bottom of a damp bag are uncrumpled. Soon to be squished back in the same position, as they’ve figured out that the 'no hat no play rule', means the ability to have an IPAD, or reduces the need to interact with the pulsing playground.

Socks

I never knew that socks could feel so uncomfortable. They pinch, twist, and feel stuck between his toes. They are put on only to be thrown off in a rage. Sometimes they are bitten between frustrated teeth. They are stomped on and yelled at. Called many names. Socks are his nemesis and at 36 years of age, they incite my anxiety as much as public speaking.

Socks. Devils in disguise.

Shoes

Shoes are socks' evil cousin. After the socks have been shamed into submission, along come shoes. They are bumpy and push on toes. The socks start up again, tickly and scratching. Shoes are thrown, socks are thrown – sometimes scissors are retrieved from draws to cut them. Scissors have now been hidden.

If were tracking well for the time, we aren’t now. The bell will ring soon and if we are late, it will all be a little worse.

The car

If we make it to the car with shoes, it’s time to get the bags in. The bags need to be under the feet of the subsequent child, or I will be told that it’s not right at 100 decibels.

The school ride

500 questions in 5 minutes. From dinosaurs to death, biology, and bikes. I am exhausted. Concentrate, I tell myself. Watch that intersection. The speed limit is 40… watch that slouched kid on their phone, are they going to cross?

The drop-off

The two hours of coaxing, screaming, and hiding at home, which sometimes ends in hitting and sometimes biting, we manage to get parked on a side street next to the school. From there, the real fun begins. I manhandle him out of the car, it’s going to be one of those mornings. As he runs around me to open the driver's door, I use my netball skills to defend and lock the car - trying to figure out how to get the little one out, without him getting back in. I have learnt my lesson about getting her out first. If I do, I will be locked out of the car - with him in it, and she will be unsupervised close to the road.

I bum block him from the door and just open her door, then quickly lock the others. He tries to charge me with his head. I get her out and lock the car. He screams in defeat, I start walking towards, the school, he refuses to come with me. It’s a busy road, so there is no choice, I pick him and hold him, like a drunk and rowdy contortionist, writhing in my arms.

A mother stands with arms crossed against the fence, I see her half-smile and know she’ll say it, ‘It gets better, Mumma’. I place a smile in front of my grimace and coordinate my head to nod.

I keep trudging, with the little one trailing behind. I hope she stays close. As I move my head to miss a flailing fist, I catch a quick side-eye from another mother, giving us a wide berth.

We reach the gate. After twenty minutes he is coaxed into a room with an IPAD, and I take a deep breath and flee.

Labels, labels, labels – once significant during high school mufti-days, then scoffed at in my late 20’s, have been reappointed. They take up so much precious brain space and this time, the inflated price tag only pays for pieces of paper. ADHD, OCD, ASD, ODD, RSD –

I’ve learnt about them all, like every other prematurely greying parent trying to find the best way to support their child.

Online, they’re stated in a list like the letters after your name when you get a uni degree, Mr 7: ODD, ASD, ADHD - these though are used to describe the complex and challenging process of asking for help for a child who is not quite like the others.

I find it both ironic and frustrating that the most common statement we have heard as parents is that ‘it sounds normal, my (insert name of relative or protogyny here) does that’ or ‘all kids have meltdowns'. Yet, when they really see it, the tone changes.

It’s silent, masked with other people. Covered with a smile and the best behaviour that we teach minute by minute, repetition by repetition. When grandparents catch a glimpse at the end of a family holiday, they sit in deck chairs and say, ‘three smacks with a wooden spoon’.

We suffer, often in silence as it’s hard to talk about having a hard time. A hard time that is enduring over months and years. The second most frustrating statement is ‘it gets better'. We’ve been hearing that for a few years now.

Note to anyone supporting parents that have kids with challenging behaviours, the best thing to say?

“That sounds really hard, you must be tired.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time, I’m here to listen if you want a coffee sometime.”

I know I’m not alone feeling the dread of the first day back from holidays, which lurks behind every door and under behind every smile.

Thing is, he is dreading it too.

Featured Writer - Natalie McLeod

Back to School: To all the mums with kids a little different from the others, who dread changes, like the transitions from school to holidays and back-to-school again, this piece is for you.  

The first day back to school
I know I’m not alone feeling the dread of the first day back from school holidays, which lurks behind every door and under every smile. But it doesn’t make me feel much better about it. I’ve been anxious all day, waiting for tomorrow morning. I know it will start as soon I am roused from my sleep by the piping of their unmoderated voices, and I’ll check my phone is still safe in its latest hiding place. Then the routine begins.

Dressing
The dressing is done relatively quickly with and without thought. T-shirt askew, a button attempted and no underwear. Underwear of any sort is too itchy, tight, or scratchy. Breakfast Always with the answer, 'I don’t want breakfast’, resulting in wanting whatever the other sibling is having or a protest of whatever is put in front of them. If a choice is given, it’s too difficult to decide. Packing Lunches are made by me the night before, in the fridge and ready to be popped into school bags. Drink bottles are scrounged from the backyard from where they were left after repeated calls to ‘pick up your drink bottle’. Hats, a tad mouldy from being squished at the bottom of a damp bag are uncrumpled. Soon to be squished back in the same position, as they’ve figured out that the 'no hat no play rule', means the ability to have an IPAD, or reduces the need to interact with the pulsing playground.

Socks
I never knew that socks could feel so uncomfortable. They pinch, twist, and feel stuck between his toes. They are put on only to be thrown off in a rage. Sometimes they are bitten between frustrated teeth. They are stomped on and yelled at. Called many names. Socks are his nemesis and at 36 years of age, they incite my anxiety as much as public speaking. Socks. Devils in disguise.

Shoes
Shoes are socks' evil cousin. After the socks have been shamed into submission, along come shoes. They are bumpy and push on toes. The socks start up again, tickly and scratching. Shoes are thrown, socks are thrown – sometimes scissors are retrieved from draws to cut them. Scissors have now been hidden. If were tracking well for the time, we aren’t now. The bell will ring soon and if we are late, it will all be a little worse. The car If we make it to the car with shoes, it’s time to get the bags in. The bags need to be under the feet of the subsequent child, or I will be told that it’s not right at 100 decibels. The school ride 500 questions in 5 minutes. From dinosaurs to death, biology, and bikes. I am exhausted. Concentrate, I tell myself. Watch that intersection. The speed limit is 40… watch that slouched kid on their phone, are they going to cross?

The drop-off
The two hours of coaxing, screaming, and hiding at home, which sometimes ends in hitting and sometimes biting, we manage to get parked on a side street next to the school. From there, the real fun begins. I manhandle him out of the car, it’s going to be one of those mornings. As he runs around me to open the driver's door, I use my netball skills to defend and lock the car - trying to figure out how to get the little one out, without him getting back in. I have learnt my lesson about getting her out first. If I do, I will be locked out of the car - with him in it, and she will be unsupervised close to the road. I bum block him from the door and just open her door, then quickly lock the others. He tries to charge me with his head. I get her out and lock the car. He screams in defeat, I start walking towards, the school, he refuses to come with me. It’s a busy road, so there is no choice, I pick him and hold him, like a drunk and rowdy contortionist, writhing in my arms.  

A mother stands with arms crossed against the fence, I see her half-smile and know she’ll say it,  

‘It gets better, Mumma’.  

I place a smile in front of my grimace and coordinate my head to nod. I keep trudging, with the little one trailing behind. I hope she stays close. As I move my head to miss a flailing fist, I catch a quick side-eye from another mother, giving us a wide berth. We reach the gate. After twenty minutes he is coaxed into a room with an IPAD, and I take a deep breath and flee.  

Labels, labels, labels – once significant during high school mufti-days, then scoffed at in my late 20’s, have been reappointed. They take up so much precious brain space and this time, the inflated price tag only pays for pieces of paper.  

ADHD, OCD, ASD, ODD, RSD – I’ve learnt about them all, like every other prematurely greying parent trying to find the best way to support their child. Online, they’re stated in a list like the letters after your name when you get a uni degree, Mr 7: ODD, ASD, ADHD - these though are used to describe the complex and challenging process of asking for help for a child who is not quite like the others.  

I find it both ironic and frustrating that the most common statement we have heard as parents is that; ‘it sounds normal, my (insert name of relative or protogyny here) does that’ or ‘all kids have meltdowns' Yet, when they really see it, the tone changes.  

It’s silent, masked with other people. Covered with a smile and the best behaviour that we teach minute by minute, repetition by repetition. When grandparents catch a glimpse at the end of a family holiday, they sit in deck chairs and say, ‘three smacks with a wooden spoon’.  

We suffer, often in silence as it’s hard to talk about having a hard time. A hard time that is enduring over months and years. The second most frustrating statement is ‘it gets better'. 

The thing is, we’ve been hearing that for years now.  

Note to anyone supporting parents that have kids with challenging behaviours, the best thing to say?  

“That sounds really hard, you must be tired.”  

“I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time, I’m here to listen if you want a coffee sometime.”  

I know I’m not alone feeling the dread of the first day back from holidays, which lurks behind every door and under behind every smile. Thing is, he is dreading it too. 

About Natalie McLeod  

Is a Sydney-fled Novocostrian with a passion for her family, art and words. She lives with her two kids, husband, dog (Indy), cat (Jinx) and four chickens (Bee-gark, Bok bok, Mr Weird and Cactus).
You can generally find her at the park, on the brink, organising or writing – (generally in that order) trying to maintain a sense of equilibrium.  

Featured Writer - Monica Pancho

The Letterbox Project - This lockdown sucks. Millions across the state are feeling it. We're cooped in our homes and asked not to leave unless for essential reasons. It's the feeling of the unknown, the loneliness, the disconnectedness, the anxiety. We're all doing it tough. It's overwhelming. I get it.

In this day and age we can connect quicker and easier thanks to instant messaging and smartphones. We can video chat on many different platforms to see friends and family. It may be different and doesn't feel the same as having a meal or a beer together but it's temporary and it's the best we can do for now.

However, there are those who are really feeling the pangs of isolation and struggling with our current realities. That's where Connected AU was borne.

Connected AU was an idea sparked by its founder, Mea, who is based in Dubbo. Mea started this project after seeing the statistics of loneliness in Australians. According to the Connected AU website, “There are 250,000 people in residential aged care in Australia and up to 40% do not get visits. 1 in 8 adults with a disability get less than 30 minutes of daily interaction with another person. 2.5 million Australians are not connected to the internet. There are more than 6,000 young people with disabilities in permanent residential aged care.”

Connected AU looks to help combat loneliness in Australia by developing programs designed to provide connection, community and companionship. There are 2 programs. One being hobby groups where you sign up to join a book club, coffee club, cooking club or a gardening club. The other is the Letterbox Project.

The Letterbox Project involves sending letters to those who are feeling isolated and lonely. The team have facilitated this project in a way to protect the privacy of both sender and receiver. You sign up on their page to be either a writer or a receiver and you'll get put on a waitlist. The team at Connected AU will then look to match you with someone.

I signed up back in early July after seeing a post by former jewellery designer, Samantha Wills, promoting the project. It took about 4 weeks until I got an email to say that I was matched! To put into perspective, their Instagram page mentions that they receive over 500 letters a week in which they check over to make sure content is safe before sending them off to their recipient. Neither of you have the address of each other.

For me, I have always loved letter writing. I believe it's a lost artform now and I was so excited to join this initiative. As soon as I got matched I went out to buy envelopes and stamps then started writing. You're given a short profile of your recipient so you have a bit of an idea what to write. I found it hard figuring out what to say to someone I know very little about but as soon as I started I ended up filling 7 pages worth of chat. I made my recipient a little card and sent it off.

The team at Connected AU told me that they had received my letter and forwarded it onto my recipient. They said they give them 6 weeks to reply and if they don't receive anything back then they will offer to put me back into the subscriber list.

Today, after a month since I sent my letter, I received my reply! My gosh that was a little bit exciting. Going to the mailbox to check for forgotten orders I had made during lockdown and finding a letter from the Letterbox Project. I forgot how it felt to receive something other than bills. I wasn't sure if I would hear back from my recipient but it felt really nice that they did. It honestly has been one of the highlights of my time in lockdown. The feeling of giving and getting something unexpected in return.

If you want to be a part of the Letterbox Project simply visit www.connectedau.com.au and follow the links to The Letterbox Project. Who knows what interesting stories and conversations you could have!

Featured Writer - Monica Pancho

For most women when they are diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (GD) for the first time they are in shock. “How did this happen?” is usually the first question. In a lot of cases the shock comes because you didn't think it would happen to you. The most shock happens to pregnant women who previously had a healthy lifestyle of exercise and diet.. so why me?

Imagine my shock when at 6 weeks my doctor tells me my fasting sugars were borderline high and I needed to do the lovely Glucose Tolerance Test already.. Damn! In a way, I kind of knew I would get it given my Dad and sister are both type 2 diabetic as well as half my extended Filipino family! By week 9, I was already being seen at the hospital by the diabetes educators and the endocrinologist.

I felt ashamed. The previous year I had lost about 10kgs and felt fit. I was running, going to the gym and eating well. So while I knew I had a strong family history and was previously pre-diabetic I had hoped I dodged a bullet.

When I had my first diabetes education session, I learnt that it was not my fault.

There seems to be a stigma with GD because people think it's the same as type 2 diabetes but it's not. What I learnt is that GD does not discriminate and affects anyone based on a whole lot of different factors – ethnicity, multiple births (twins, triplets etc), family history, genetics, age, and hormones to name a few.

Simply speaking, what I learnt was that the placenta is full of amazing hormones that help baby grow. Unfortunately, some of these hormones can interfere with the effect of insulin in your body and impairs the way it is able to remove excess sugar from your blood. From what my GD team told me, given I had 2 placentas with my twins this made it extra hard on my body. I see it like the placenta saying “It's not you. It's me!”

The diabetes educators helped me understand what foods to eat and how much carbohydrates I should eat per meal to ensure enough energy is fuelling my body and also provididing the nutrients for baby to grow. I found that it can take a bit of trial and error to see what foods worked best for me and what didn't cause a spike.. lasagne and any pasta with bolognese worked well!

I ended up using metformin at night and eventually insulin to help bring my fasting levels down. Fasting blood sugar readings are typically the hardest to bring down as this one is mostly hormonal.

I thought I handled the GD well with my first pregnancy so when I fell pregnant again I felt a lot more confident I could manage it should I go through it again.

Second time around I was sent straight to an endocrinologist at 7 weeks and I needed to do a week of finger prick testing – fasting and after meals. After a week all my readings were high so my endocrinologist started treating me as a GD patient and put me on insulin straight away. It took me almost 3 months to get my fasting levels down which almost got the better of me. I also needed to take insulin pre-meals by 16 weeks because I was cutting too many carbs out to get my numbers down and found I was really low in energy. So I gave in and asked for the help. I cried a little at that point because I didn't want to accept that my body isn’t coping as well as last time. When I did ask for the pre-meal insulin it was also a relief because I knew my body needed the help.

I did a calculation and estimated that I would have had over 3000 jabs (finger pricks and insulin) over the course of my pregnancy. My photo above shows all my insulin pens that I used. Can't imagine how type 1 and 2 diabetics do this!

With GD, one of the main things that baby is checked for after delivery is their blood sugar. If they're

used to having high amounts of sugar in your blood passing through to them in utero their blood sugar might drop low when they are out as they no longer have their food supply from you. I was lucky with my 3 babies that only one had one slightly low reading at 24hrs after birth and that was it. I expressed colostrum (with the advice of the midwives) couple weeks prior to delivery to help with their sugars in case they had low readings.

In my opinion, the hardest part about it all is knowing who to turn to for help. Your GD team is always available for you to talk to if you have concerns about how you're tracking. There will usually be an educator or dietitian that can help with your food choices if you ever get stuck. I tried joining a support group on Facebook but when I was reading the comments I just felt overwhelmed by the information and because the groups aren't moderated by medical professionals, a lot of misinformation is thrown around.

This second time around I happened to stumble upon an Instagram account by a Melbourne Dietician who specialises in GD (Robyn Compton - @gestationaldiabetes_dietitian). This page was a lifesaver! It offered a lot of insight on how to calculate your carb intake, meal and snack ideas/choices, posts relating to different cultures and their choices, reassurances regarding diagnoses, managing the emotional side of GD, dealing with insulin, physical activity etc. It is by far the most informative page I have come across and I always recommend this page to anyone who is diagnosed with GD. Robyn often replies to DMs if you needed someone to chat to but always directs you to speak to your own health provider for your own specific needs.

I guess its the unknown that worries us when we're told we have GD. If you are diagnosed with GD, just know that once you start to understand what's happening that it's actually very manageable. Your GD team will help you along the way and there are plenty of resources available for you should you need to reach out.

Featured Writer - Janine Gibson

Kawasaki Disorder is not a phobia of motorbikes - Although I jest in the title, this is no laughing matter! Kawasaki Disorder or Kawasaki Disease, is an illness that mainly affects children, typically under 5 years of age. The onset is sudden and the results, if left untreated, can be fatal.

Paige’s Story:

My 5 year old in 2014 was looking forward to her 6th birthday and cooking Daddy breakfast on Father’s day, when in September she awoke with a headache. I sent her to kindy as normal. She had been a healthy child in those first 5 years, with only the occasional sniffle or tummy bug. But all that was about to change.

I received a phone call from the school to pick her up, she had a fever and the headache was still there. Like most parents, I gave her Panadol and put her to bed. Next morning, there was little change so off to the GP who checked her over, her temp was 39.5. He told us if her temp hits 40 to go to hospital but in meantime Panadol and Nurofen every 4-6 hours. For the next 2 days, the medications seem to keep the temp down by a couple of degrees but it would spike again when meds wore off. She refused food of any kind. Literally gritted her teeth together but was happy to drink. Blood shot eyes and my mother- in-law commented about how ‘ruby” her lips were, “like she was wearing lipstick”.

Thursday of that week was the Father’s day stall at school. She woke with a temp of around 37.5 and begged me to send her to school for the stall. I Got a call from the school midday to pick her up. She was delirious, high temp and seeing faces in the concrete pavement. Straight to GP who diagnosed her with a Urinary Tract infection. He took samples and told us that “when the fever breaks she is on the mend”.

For the next 24 hours, the fever continued but the meds held it at bay every 4-6 hours. White, pimply, spots developed on her tongue (a condition known as Strawberry tongue) and a purplish rash began to spread over her lower torso. She complained of tummy pains and some mild vomiting, which I contributed to an empty stomach as she hadn’t eaten anything substantial in days.

Sunday, Father’s Day. She awoke with no temp but was nauseous and grey in colour. The ruby lips were gone and were now white. I rang GP access who advised me to get her to the ER immediately.

So instead of a Father’s day breakfast it was a rush to John Hunter Hospital. I recall walking into emergency and expecting to sit and wait for hours instead Emergency was empty. Just one couple with a baby being assessed by the lone triage nurse. I heard the nurse say to this couple; “I’m sorry but I don’t like the look of this child and need to leave you”. She called us over and took my daughter’s blood pressure. It was dangerously low and before I knew it the doors to the emergency ward flew open and medical staff came running. I stood aside, bewildered, as a doctor and nursing staff attempted to find a vein to attach a drip. My child’s veins had closed up. Her little body had gone into a state of sepsis, it was shutting itself down. Her kidneys and liver had failed and she was dying. They had to drill into her knee cap to attach a drip! A sound that still haunts me. My husband and I were asked question after question about our movements over that week, her diet, who or what she had come into contact with.

We knew it was serious when they called a social worker to comfort us. Paediatricians and surgeons all examined her and no clear indication of what was going on. The ER doc suggested it may be one of two things, a type of salmonella poisoning or Kawasaki’s. Paige was given two IVs of antibiotics and one of IVIG (blood plasma replacement, the only known treatment for Kawasaki). She stabilised after 4 hours in the ER and was sent to PICU. For the next 4 days in PICU I stayed by her side. She was subjected to some evasive tests. Medical staff were uncertain and did not give a definite diagnosis until day 4. Fluid had built up in her joints and cavities of the body, including her lungs. An ECG showed damage to her heart. And this is what Kawasaki does, it attacks the organs and finishes with the heart. If untreated may lead to heart failure. Most KD kids are left with aneurysms or dilation, thickening of the heart. Paige’s heart walls and arteries were twice the thickness they should be.

She had to learn to walk again as the fluid had settled in her ankles and knees and was taking Asprin for 6 months to thin her blood to help her damaged heart.

For the last 6 years, my child has been seen annually by a paediatrician and a cardiologist. Her heart is back to normal. She still has regular bouts of pain in her joints and a phobia of needles and hospitals.

I never waste an opportunity to talk to parents about recognising the symptoms of Kawasaki Disease. It is the leading cause of heart issues in children under 5. Paige is my miracle, my KD warrior, as we came so close to losing her on that Father’s day in 2014.

Featured Writer - Natalie McLeod

Lockdown. We’re all in it and going minute-by-minute crazy. Sure, it’s not all bad. Those moments in the sunshine. The walks, the giggles when you get a moment between cleaning and Teams or Zoom meetings to really look at their little faces and connect.  

However, those moments are hazy, layered with the ongoing monotony of full-time all the time caring. Currently one of mine is screaming ‘my nappy is stupid; it is falling down’ (she’s 2) the other is singing ‘it’s not stupid at the top of his lungs.’ The other day the two-year-old demanded ‘I want my bottle fuck’.

Yes, my 2-year-old now says fuck. At least it’s not really in context, right?  

Between slime in hair, a full tub of Greek yogurt dumped on a bed and my desk covered in scribbles or ‘art’, my fingernails are starting to feel raw from clinging to the ledge.  

Meanwhile, I’m working at night. The time when I am me, not work, not mum, not cleaner is when I turn my mind to my ‘day job’. When and how then, you ask are you writing this? I am writing this as they are watching YouTube. I feel like the mother of the year.  

Did anyone else feel the first lockdown was our honeymoon and this is the period after the 7-year itch? Covid – we need a divorce.  

Seriously though, we are living through a pandemic. We’d thought we were on the other side, and we’ve been sucked back into the year we all wanted to leave behind.  

The one thing we can do…. Be gentle with ourselves and realise that our children’s emotions matter more than work. So, keep routines, keep doing the exercises, keep writing, keep saying fuck (it won’t kill them), and aim for more connection, more togetherness. Because, by-golly, together is the only way we’re getting through this with our children intact.