I still remember the day I had 24 hours to get out of the house and people were giving me very strange looks as I got rid of half of my life over the balcony into a dumpster. Argh divorce. It was never something I wanted to happen to me personally, no one does, but for whatever reason whether it's substance abuse, physical or emotional abuse, gambling or other additions, infidelity or whatever reason, thank goodness there is a way out for couples that simply can't make it work.
For whatever you're dealing with, know that there is a way out. You and your kids will survive. If you're in an unhealthy relationship and it's impacting your and your kid's health there is no question that you are better off without it.
Here are some things to keep in mind from Bec Tansey and Mel Sarge and from Lawyer Samantha Miller from Baker Love Lawyers , Newcastle Australia. Keep in mind these are generalisations of course everyone's story is different:
- Samantha says 'if there is enough money to go round before you split there will be enough money to go around after the split' don't get fixated on it, you'll be ok even if you're a stay at home mum'.
- Do you need to keep a violent partner away from you and the kids? Don't be scared to seek the help of the police. Go to your local police station and seek an 'AVO'.
- Partners with a lucrative small business sometimes attempt to 'hide' the money they make after a split to decrease the money they have to pay the other partner. Get evidence of their earnings for the past 5 years while you still have access to them. Keep in mind, they may also try to buy you out for a lucrative amount before doing the above also.
- You shouldn't feel bad about 'leaning' on your friends and family during this time keep them in the loop and don't try to hide what's happening.
- Try hard to keep your split out of the courts and mediate beforehand with the help of legal professionals if need be. The moment you hit the courts you'll lose all the money you've worked hard for, maybe even your entire life savings.
- It is common for one party to say they'll have the kids often then when you split they only take them every now and then. Keep note of the times they don't have the kids and your child support will be adjusted accordingly ie. you'll get more money. Unfortunately you can't really force your ex to take the kids which is really sad.
For more listen to our 'I Got it from My Mumma' Big D Podcast by clicking the link below.